literature

Charlie Teh Unicorn 3 - Script

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(Echoy voice resembling Blue/Pink's): Charlieeee.

Charlie: Hello? Is someone there?

(Echoey voice): Charlieeee.

Charlie: What? What do you want?

(silence)

Charlie: (grunts)

Pink and Blue: (materialize in a flash of light, wearing sunglasses and futuristic-looking things around their necks) Charlie!

Charlie: Gah! Ah! Give me a heart attack, that's fine!

Blue: We're from the future, Charlie!

Charlie: Oh, I bet.

Pink: The world is in perillll.

Blue: All that is good has been consumed by evil!

Pink: (Pink's eye begins to glow) The end is nigh! Nighhh!

(Pink and Blue disappear into a smoky grey cloud, where several copies of Blue and Pink's heads in various sizes emerge then disappear back into the cloud)

Charlie: Yep, so that was the scariest thing I've ever seen.

Blue: Come with us to the future!

Pink: We need your help to finish our snowman!

Charlie: Snowman? What are you going on about?

Blue: There's no time to explain!

Pink: Grab onto our tongues!

Charlie: How do I-

Blue and Pink: Blehhh!

(Blue and Pink's tongues shoot out of there mouths and drape themselves on Charlie)

Charlie: Ohhhh that is so gross!

(the three disappear in a flash of white light, then reappear in a similar flash exactly where they were before)

(Blue and Pink's Future Costumes have disappeared)

Blue: Charlie, we're here!

Pink: In the futureee! (blows party horn)

Charlie: This looks exactly the same!

Blue: Shhhh, you'll wake the Umu.

Charlie: (blinks) Umu?

Pink: We need to get to the river

Blue: And we gotta be sneaky.

(Blue and Pink start floating in the air, and bending their legs like they're made of rubber)

Pink: We gotta be sneaky, Charlie, sssneaky.

Charlie: Yeah, there's no way I can do that with my legs.

Pink: Oh no! Listen!

Blue: The Umu has awoken! Run!

Charlie: What are you- I don't hear anything!

Blue: Hurry! Look out for the Yomyoms!

Pink: They're everywherrrrrrre!

Charlie: What am I missing here?

Blue: Narshlogs! Coming in from above!

Pink: Evasive maneuvers! (Starts to float away) Neh! Nyehhh!

Blue: Charlie! Look out for the Bleh-bleh-bleh!

Charlie: (groans) Can I go home yet?

(Cuts to a river with a large duck-shaped boat which Pink and Blue are already on)

Pink: Charlie, get on the duck!

Blue: The Bleh-bleh-bleh are right behind us!

Charlie: I think I'll take my chances with the Oompoos and the Wawas.

Pink: Oh no! A Narshlog has got Charlie!

Blue: Quickly! Grab onto our tongues!

Blue and Pink: Bleh!

(Blue and Pink's tongues shoot out of there mouths and drape over Charlie)

Charlie: Oh! Aw, really? Again with the tongues?

(Cuts to Charlie, Pink and Blue on the duck-boat, riding down the river.)

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: Hellooo?

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: H-he-hellooo?

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: Helloooooo?

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: H-hello?

Blue: ...Ring, ring.

Charlie: You have a bad connection!

Blue: Time to go down below!

Pink: Into the liquid abyss!

(The duck-boat begins to sink into the river)

Charlie: Oh my God, hey, hey! I can't swim! Or breathe underwater!

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: Hello?

Charlie: I'm serious, I'm going to drown!

(talking over Charlie)

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: Hellooo?

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: Hellooo?

Charlie: What does this have to do with snowmen?

Blue: Ring, ring.

Pink: Helloooblubblubblub

(duckboat sinks into the river with Charlie, Pink and Blue on it)

(Cuts to scene where the duckboat is floating to the floor of what looks to be ruins of a castle)

Blue: See, Charlie? Look!

Pink: This is where we've hidden the snowman!

Charlie: Yeah, to save the world, right? I'm not even gonna ask how I'm still alive. 'Cause you know what I think? I think I died long ago and you two are my eternal punishment.

Blue: You're like a constant downer, huh?

(Cuts to scene a where Charlie, Pink, and Blue are walking through the ruins)

Pink: To get to the snowman we need to first pass-(camera zooms out to reveal a door standing alone in front of the trio) the Dooooor!

Blue: The Dooooor!

Charlie: The Door?

Pink: Th-the Door!

Charlie: What is the Door?

Blue: The Door is everything!

Pink: All that once was and all that will be!

(The door begins to float and multicolored light begin to flash)

Blue: The Door controls Time and Space!

Pink: Life and Death!

Blue: The Door can see into your mind!

Pink: (Pink's pupil contracts) The Door can see into your SOUL!

Charlie: Really, th-the Door can do all that?

Pink: Heh, no.

(Cuts to a scene where Charlie, Blue and Pink are walking through the ruins again.)

Blue: We're almost there, Charlie. It's right at the end of this-Oh my God it's a whale!

Pink: Nooooo! Whaaaale!

(Shadow of a whale passes over the trio)

(silence)

(Shadow moves on)

Blue: Just a few more steps and-Oh my God it's a Narwhal!

Pink: Noooo! Narwhaaaaal! Narwhal of deathhhhh! It's gonna kill us!

(Shadow of a Narwhal passes over the trio)

(Silence)

(Shadow moves on)

Blue: It's right up ahead now! You can see the-Oh my God it's a-

Charlie: Stop it! Stop it! I don't care about each and every sea creature you see!

Pink: But, Charlie! They care about you!

(Music begins as a beam of light covers Charlie and he begins to float upwards)

Charlie: Oh, no. No! No! Noo!

(Charlie lands on the top of a pillar, and what seems to be a goat-seal hybrid floats on screen with a bunch of ballons then lets them go.)

Goat-seal: (singing) When, you're feeling all alone, the world's a drone, and nobody's shown any love to you,

Charlie: (speaking) I can't tell if you're adorable or creepy.

Goat-seal: (singing) When, you're heart is cold as stone, just change your tone, get rid of that groan, and the world will too!

Charlie: Probably gonna go with creepy.

'Goat-seal: Cause Swordfishes-

Swordfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Jellyfishes-

Jellyfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Starfishes-

Starfish: I LOVE YOU!!

Goat-seal: You know it's true. Catfishes-

Catfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Carpfishes-

Carpfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Blowfishes-

(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)

Starfish: STARFISH REALLY LOVES YOU!

Goat-seal: In the ocean blue!

(Shrimp wearing a golden chain around his neck and sunglasses appears with a bright orange background and begins to rap):

Lungfish, Blackfish, Alligator, Icefish. Armourhead, Hammerhead, Anaconda, Flathead, Manta Ray, Sting Ray, Fangtooth Moray, Goblin shark, Grass Carp, Round River Bat Ray., Noodlefish, Hagfish, Man O' War, Ladyfish, Black Eel, Baby seal, Sprat, Koi, Electric Eel, Lamprey, Pejerey, Yellow-edged Moray, Salmon Shark, Sleeper Shark, Featherback and Eagle Ray!

(cuts back to Charlie and the Goat-seal)

Goat-seal: Well, you can ignore this plea. That's fine with me, But one day you'll see, That my words are true!

Charlie: Please stop singing to me.

Goat-seal: What if, You find that you agree? I garauntee, That you will soon be Feeling the love too!

Charlie: I can't wait.

'Goat-seal: Cause Swordfishes-

Swordfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Jellyfishes-

Jellyfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Starfishes-

Starfish: I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER!

Goat-seal: You know it's true! Catfishes-

Catfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Carpfishes-

Carpfish: Love you.

Goat-seal: Blowfishes-

(Starfish cuts in front of blowfish)

Starfish: STARFISH! LOVE ME! LOVE ME!

Goat-seal: In the ocean BLUEEE!

(Goat-seal floats off a bit and explodes)

(music ends)

Charlie: (floats back down to the ground) Oh, there goes everyone exploding. (camera zooms out to reveal a nose-less snowman standing on a pillar) Oh, hey, look at that. Hey guys! I found the snowman! What did you want me to do? Guys?

(green tendrils of smoke start rising from the ground.)

Charlie: What the-Oh, sleeping gas! Of course. Why did I expect any different?

(Charlie collapses, the screen goes black)

(cuts to scen with charlie laying on the ground in a field of tundra, and it's snowing. His horn is gone.)

Charlie: (wakes up) Uh, oh, oh! Where am I? Hey! What happened to my horn?!

(camera zooms out to reveal the snowman with Charlie's horn as it's nose)

Charlie: Oh! Come on, really! What did that accomplish?! Why would- (camera zooms out to reveal a pink glob in the snowman's side) Oh, look it's my kidney.
:meow:
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Comments1
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gypsygodess's avatar
XD Wth!? Charlies the only realistic one here!? XDXDXD & starfish~? I love this!